How to Talk to Your Parent About In-Home Care
Talking with your parent or loved one about needing a home care solution can be a difficult conversation for both of you. For your loved one, it represents a loss of independence and a realization of declining health. For you, it can be difficult because you must now tell your parent or loved one that you need extra help caring for them. Having a conversation about the dangers of unassisted living may be hard, but it is necessary.
Few things are more stressful for a family caregiver than an aging loved one who refuses to accept the help they need. The conversation with them can become both frustrating and repetitive, however if you have other family and work obligations you may be tapped out and cannot provide constant support for your parents. So, here is the million-dollar question, how do you talk to your parents about hiring a personal caregiver or assisted living help?
Start By Having Light Conversations
When appropriate, you and your family should have pleasant and relaxed discussions about caregiving before a health crisis event happens. it is always a good idea to plant seeds about different options. Another way to gently bring up the conversation is to ask them about the future, like, “Mom, where do you see yourself getting older?”
When you see them struggling with independence, like driving and other everyday duties, start by pointing out how these activities get harder. Sympathize with them before offering a solution by saying something like, “It’s hard keeping up with the dishes and the laundry. I completely understand. How would you feel about hiring a housekeeper to help out with chores around the house” By beginning to address in-home care, you are giving your loved one a chance to look at their own future and take part, while contributing to their freedom, in the decision-making process.
Involve Other Members of the Family
It should not be an overnight decision to determine how to care for your elderly parent, much less a decision you make on your own. Caregiving is an important family decision, so this is a time to reach out to your siblings, children, and aunts and uncles to address your aging parent’s needs together. Speaking about the options for in-home care as a unit will make you feel less alone and help make sure that everyone is on the same page.
Be Respectful
The fastest way to have your parent reject your assistance is to patronize them. Asking for help at home is hard, as it can make them feel as though their independence is being taken away. It’s very likely that your parent is afraid of losing their autonomy or being viewed as a burden. To alleviate their fears, don’t talk down to them. Instead, try to speak calmly to them and ask questions about their feelings, so they know you are coming from a place of love
Don’t Feel Guilty!
Most adult children feel guilty about getting their elderly parents extra in-home care or moving them to an assisted living facility. Don’t beat yourself up. It is extremely hard to be a full-time family caregiver, and the limitations have to be acknowledged. You can’t always be there for them, but professional caregivers can. It is scary suddenly feeling like the parent to your aging parent, and that’s okay. Accept the limits of what you can accomplish on your own. Don’t feel guilty about helping your parents get the assistance they need to better their quality of life.
If you and your loved one have started to consider in-home health care options, contact Thrive USA Homecare today to learn how we can help.